I mentioned on Twitter recently about how I used to have lots of time for self spanking, especially on Saturday mornings. For years I had at least a few hours every Saturday morning to play without interruption. G. decided that if I had anything I needed to be punished for, I would do it then, otherwise I would pretend that I was being punished for something. It helped me spank harder if I thought I deserved it for something I'd done, otherwise I'd wimp out and not spank very hard or very long. I used everything, the hairbrush, bathbrush, paddles, belt, rubber rulers, and even the occasional switch when I could get a good one. At some point we learned that when I was in the punishment mindset, embarrassment worked really well to help change my behavior. G. decided that I needed to have the blinds and windows open. We live in a basement apartment, so I wasn't exactly risking a indecent exposure charge, but if somebody had walked right up to the window, they would've seen me. It's impossible to see in from the sidewalk, on either side, but hey, the sound of a paddle could make somebody curious enough to want to look in the window, right?
On the days when G. said I had to have a switch, I'd get that first. I had to go outside to cut one, and try not to call too much attention to myself. Eventually G. said that I couldn't hide it, that I had to swish it around on the way back to the building. I always hoped that nobody was around when I had to do that, but whether or not anybody saw, it still added to the embarrassment factor.
Part of the day was spent in "corner time" after a serious dose of the hairbrush or the paddle. The thing was, it's a small apartment, with no real corners. Somehow it was decided (not sure if it was my idea or G.'s), to bend over the kitchen table, no pants on, red bare bottom facing the window. Again, not a serious chance of being seen, but every time I'd hear footsteps or voices outside, my heart would race. I wasn't allowed to move, or look to see if anybody was looking in the window, so my imagination would go wild. After the allotted time was done, I had to go back to spanking. Sometimes I would use the hairbrush a lot more, sometimes I'd use the belt a lot more, sometimes I'd use something different every time. The goal was always the same though, a very sore, very red bare bottom, and I was able to deliver. G. had always thought I had a wimpy arm. Yes, it takes a lot longer for me to get the same results he does, but that's mostly because it's more difficult to get the right leverage with some of the implements. He can use the Lexan paddle on me, but I can't use it on myself because it's too big. I tend to use the smaller implements because they're the easiest to use. After each implement, it was back over the table. I could feel the pain in my bottom as I stood there, knowing how red my bottom was, and dreading the possibility of hearing somebody outside the window.
There was a time when I was seen, which I wrote about in another post called Fact or Fiction? Telling G. the next night about having been seen was as embarrassing
as having been seen in the first place. He thought of it as part of my
punishment, so he was happy that it had added to my embarrassment.
It was on one of the days I used to get once a year where nobody would be home until late afternoon. I always loved that day, because I didn't have to worry about anybody coming home, and I could play as much as I wanted.
The end result of Punishment Saturdays was a very sore, very red bare bottom that would last at least until the end of the day, if not longer. There were times when I really had a lot of time and it would last longer than the weekend. Even sitting on my bed would hurt, and I would revel in it.
Once a week during the spring, summer and part of the fall, I'd have a whole morning to be punished, or to play at being punished, depending on the situation. It lasted for years, and it settled me down for the rest of the week. It was great. Three years ago it ended, and except for when I can see G., I go without being spanked these days, even from myself. My mind and spirit aren't settled anymore. I need it back, but I don't see that happening.