Saturday, March 23, 2013

Story: What the Hell! (F/M)

This is an OLD story, from the SSC on the old newsgroup.  I wrote it in 2001, and hadn't seen it in years.  Some of the old stories are in a new archive, and this was one of them, so I grabbed it.  It's F/M, which I don't do too much of actually, but this one seemed to work well.

What the Hell!

After decades he still didn't understand this need in his head. Something was always telling him he needed to be spanked.  Not a voice, he wasn't that far gone, but there was something else, a feeling.  Most of him thought the idea was ridiculous, knew that he was sick to want it, but there was that little part that screamed the desire from down deep.  Told him that being over a woman's lap getting his bare ass spanked till he went limp from pain and hard from lust was the only way to go.  He just never had the guts to go through with it.

The opportunity to make it all come true came as a shock to his system. She told him he was a bad boy and needed to be spanked and he almost choked.  What the hell?!  That was for kids!  There was no way he was actually going to let her spank him!  No way, no how!  She was buggy to think so, and he almost told her so, but that little part made him stifle his snappy comeback and just stare at the floor.  She asked if he agreed, but he couldn't make himself answer.  He just couldn't!  NO! Yes, damn it, you know you want it, always have!  Go for it!  No, I can't, there's no way!  He stood mute as his mind battled with itself.

He knew she expected an answer.  What should he say?  Should he tell her no, and wonder what could've been, or should he say yes and risk having the fantasy destroyed, or even scarier, fulfilled beyond imagining. What the hell?!  Why was he even considering it?  It was crazy, twisted! Nobody wanted that, did they?  What made her say it?  Why would she want to spank him anyway?  Maybe she sees the need in your eyes, that little part of himself said.  What would be so bad if you said yes!  It's silly, I can't do it!  Geeeeeez, I have my pride, ya know!  I can't let her do this!  Why not, you silly fool!  You've wanted it your whole life!  Don't hide behind that stupid pride!  It'll just keep you from getting what you want!  No, no, no!  I can't, I won't!

He looked at her, as she waited to hear his decision.  She sat down, sensing it would be a while.  He heard his heart beating loudly in his ears, deafening him.  Fear reached for him.  Fear of getting it, and fear of not getting it.  AAAGGGHHH!  He couldn't decide!

That little part of himself grew bigger suddenly, taking control, forcing him to do what he must.  Oh, what the hell!  He moved to her side and put himself across her lap, falling into the unknown.


paddledhusband said...

This was me in my late teens to late twenties. Yes, it took me that long to accept who I am. It wasn't really until I began to interact with fellow spankos and began to realise that not only are us spankos normal people...we're also FUN! ;)

Jen said...

You're lucky. I didn't come to terms with it until I was in my mid 30's. It was after my divorce, and I got online for the first time and found the newsgroup. That was when I realized I wasn't the only one who was like this, and that we're normal!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written!

Jen said...

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)