This is an OLD story, from the SSC on the old newsgroup. I wrote it in 2001, and hadn't seen it in years. Some of the old stories are in a new archive, and this was one of them, so I grabbed it. It's F/M, which I don't do too much of actually, but this one seemed to work well.
What the Hell!
After decades he still didn't understand this need in his head.
Something was always telling him he needed to be spanked. Not a voice,
he wasn't that far gone, but there was something else, a feeling. Most
of him thought the idea was ridiculous, knew that he was sick to want
it, but there was that little part that screamed the desire from down
deep. Told him that being over a woman's lap getting his bare ass
spanked till he went limp from pain and hard from lust was the only way
to go. He just never had the guts to go through with it.
The opportunity to make it all come true came as a shock to his
system. She told him he was a bad boy and needed to be spanked and he
almost choked. What the hell?! That was for kids! There was no way he
was actually going to let her spank him! No way, no how! She was
buggy to think so, and he almost told her so, but that little part made
him stifle his snappy comeback and just stare at the floor. She asked
if he agreed, but he couldn't make himself answer. He just couldn't!
NO! Yes, damn it, you know you want it, always have! Go for it! No, I
can't, there's no way! He stood mute as his mind battled with itself.
He knew she expected an answer. What should he say? Should he tell
her no, and wonder what could've been, or should he say yes and risk
having the fantasy destroyed, or even scarier, fulfilled beyond
imagining. What the hell?! Why was he even considering it? It was
crazy, twisted! Nobody wanted that, did they? What made her say it?
Why would she want to spank him anyway? Maybe she sees the need in your
eyes, that little part of himself said. What would be so bad if you
said yes! It's silly, I can't do it! Geeeeeez, I have my pride, ya
know! I can't let her do this! Why not, you silly fool! You've wanted
it your whole life! Don't hide behind that stupid pride! It'll just
keep you from getting what you want! No, no, no! I can't, I won't!
He looked at her, as she waited to hear his decision. She sat down,
sensing it would be a while. He heard his heart beating loudly in his
ears, deafening him. Fear reached for him. Fear of getting it, and
fear of not getting it. AAAGGGHHH! He couldn't decide!
That little part of himself grew bigger suddenly, taking control,
forcing him to do what he must. Oh, what the hell! He moved to her
side and put himself across her lap, falling into the unknown.