Monday, August 13, 2012

Story-The Price He Paid

This story is VERY dark, even darker than the one I posted a few days ago.  I wrote this a long time before the other one, for the SSC, but I forget which year.  If dark scenes upset you or trigger you, don't go any further

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The Price He Paid

The white hot pain surrounds her, blotting out all else.  It’s the only thing that awakens her soul now.  She feels dead unless the whip is at her back or the cane is welting her mercilessly.  She knows that he doesn’t like to do these things, to take her so far, but he does it because she needs it.  No matter that her body is permanently marked from the times when she pushed him to beat her harder.  The envelope is beyond being pushed, it’s ripped wide open, and there is nothing she can’t handle these days.

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He hates what he does to her, but he can’t stand the look in her eyes when she begs him to help her, to take her beyond the edge.  She’s her old self for a while afterwards, so he accepts what he has to do as a way to bring her back.  He hopes that one day he can drive her demons out so he can have her back for good, whole again, but it’s been months already and he doesn’t see an end to it.  He has tried forcing her to agree to a safeword, but her obstinacy on the subject is of monumental proportions.  He also knows she’d find someone else to do this to her if he doesn’t, and he wouldn’t trust anyone else to have her best interests at heart. He’d never “hurt” her.

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The endorphins are at such a high level that she doesn’t realize that it’s gone too far.  She doesn’t notice her heart speeding before it stops or her mind becoming jumbled.  Her last lucid thought is that she’s finally “there”.  She feels such immense peace that she thinks she can allow him to back down now.  She tries to safeword, but there’s no sound, and she panics, but only for the briefest moment.  Her heart stops and her mind fades to black.  The peace she once longed for is eternal now.

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He sits in the dark apartment, not moving, not really seeing.  Even after a year the image of her still body prone on the bed is burned into the insides of his eyelids and into his brain.  His guilt is as eternal as her peace.  He knows in his heart that he killed her, though the exhaustive investigation exonerated him.  He no longer tries to kill himself, but he no longer tries to live either.  He won’t allow himself the comfort of being around people.  He won’t become involved with a woman again, because he’s afraid he’ll kill her too.  He had just wanted to help her, but now he sees how wrong he was. He should’ve tried to get her help.  She told him her way would work, and he had believed her.  Now she was gone forever and he is left here to be haunted by his mistakes for the rest of his life.  He hopes that it wouldn’t be a long life.

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