Other things I want

I want the belt.  I want searing stripes across my bare bottom, so many that they cease being stripes and become one, enveloping me in white hot throbbing pain.  Pain that goes deep inside me.  I want the cane, making me fly, allowing me to lose myself in the wonderful intensity of each stroke.  Knowing that I will have amazing cane marks that I will be able to look at for days afterward.  Marks that will remind me every time I sit down.  There are so many things I want.  To be spanked hard and fast until I lose all control and sob into the pillow, all stress and worry, all the bad leaving my body so that I become relaxed and mellow to the point of not being able to move.  I want it to hurt to sit for a week, which won't stop me from sitting.  On the contrary, I will find reasons to sit, so it reminds me of the spankings that caused it to hurt to sit.  I want all those things, and I want more.  Long slow spankings, building and building, until I become conflicted between wanting to get away from each spank and wanting so many more of them.  I want to feel as though everyone can tell that I've been spanked just by looking at me, which will cause me to smile.  I will know that they don't really know, but it will spark their curiosity, and they will wonder why I smile.      

New Year's Post-Fantasy Time

I've had one fantasy running through my head lately.  The concept has always fascinated me, because it's hot.  G. decides he has to punish me. 

"Come here," he says, with that look he gives me when he means business.

I walk over to him, and I know something's up, because he's standing by the bed.  That look and that tone of voice, when he's standing by the bed never turns out well for my bottom. 

"I'm going to punish you," he says.

"Why," I ask, my mind going over everything I've done or said recently.

"Do I need a reason," he asks, his right eyebrow going up.

"No, sir," I say, suddenly meek, which makes the sir come out automatically.

"I didn't think so," he says.  "I can, so I will."

"Yes, sir," I say, afraid to make things worse for myself. 

"Let's get these out of the way," he says as he reaches for the waistband of my jeans, pulling me closer, and unbuttons them.  As the zipper comes down, he tugs them down altogether, followed quickly by my panties. 

"But..." I say, forgetting myself in my panic.

"But what?  You're getting spanked because I've decided you need to be punished.  You know deep down there are things you've been able to get away with, so don't even pretend you don't deserve this," he says.

I know it's true, there are things he doesn't even know about, things he's known about and forgotten about, just things I should be spanked for.  He knows, and he's right.  But to have him decide not to make it for any one thing, just because he can, makes it hot and scary at the same time.  My stomach does flips, not knowing what to expect. 

He pushes me down on the bed, which gives me that scared/thrilled feeling, and then I hear the sound.  The sound of his belt buckle.  Now I know he's really going to punish me.  I love the belt, but I know he means business when he uses it for punishment.  I don't dare look back at him, because I don't really want to see what's coming. 

The first smack of the belt takes me by surprise.  It's hard, really hard, and the second comes so fast behind it that it takes my breath away.  It's punishment, that's how it goes, hard, and too fast for me to get used to it.  It breaks me fast, within six hard smacks I start crying, and by ten I'm crying a lot.  He doesn't want to spank me for a long time, he wants to make sure that it does the job.  He wants it to break me so that I'm willing to be a good girl again.  I'm submissive after a punishment spanking.  For a while, and he tries to take advantage of that to make sure I promise to be good, to do what I should.  The promises are made, broken through my tears and choked sobs.  He doesn't stop spanking because I start crying.  He keeps spanking until he knows I've given up.  When I've stopped fighting it, when I surrender to him finally.  That's when he stops.  He always knows when it's time to stop.  

I want this to happen.  It's a new year, and I want this.  It's been so long since we've been able to really explore our punishment dynamic.  Hopefully he wants to do it too.  I haven't talked to him about it yet, but we've been ramping up the spanking talk, so I'm hoping to get to it soon. 

A call for ideas

Ask G., sometimes I get bored with how I have things.  Like I changed the color of my computer windows from blue to silver, I occasionally change the theme of my Thunderbird because I get bored with how it looks, and I change the persona on my Firefox a decent amount.  When it comes to this blog, I came up with the name because at the time I couldn't think of anything better.  For the past couple weeks I've been seriously considering changing the name, but I can't decide on anything.  I'm having the problem I had when I started it in the first place.  It's the same problem I have when I write stories.  Titles are my worst problem.  I'm hoping that some of you are better at it, so I'm asking for suggestions.  I'll narrow it down from there, and if I still can't decide, I'll leave it up to a vote of the masses.

Some things to consider when coming up with names: Not that I WON'T ever include sex in my blog posts, but I haven't so far, mostly because it's not happening for me in RL.  Most of my fantasies have to do with punishment, which I find hot.  I love just playing, and I have a ball when I can do that, but if I can be in a situation where G. is punishing me for something, even if it's just an attitude adjustment, it reaches a much deeper level for me.  I write a mix of fiction and RL posts, which is why I can't pick something that makes it seem like it's just a story site.  There are too many good ones around for me to compete with! 

I'm going to see if G. has an idea for a name too, not that he has a lot of experience with blogging.  Of all people he probably SHOULD have a blog, even if it's a vanilla one, but I'm not sure he can stay away from YouTube for that long.

My trip to NY

To make it easier to tell who's saying what, G.'s comments are in bold.  I've tried to fix the formatting, but for some reason it won't condense anymore than it is!   

--------------------------------- 

As hoped, the trip went great.  I packed all of my implements, including the Liquid Cane, which G. hadn't even seen yet, let alone had a chance to use.  I forgot that I'd also rebuilt the Loopy in the past three years, and since he'd killed it, he hadn't had a chance to test the bionic version.  Against my better judgement I brought ALL of my paddles, including the dreaded Lexan, which is just plain EVIL.  I always wonder what the people at the airport think when it goes through the scanner. : )  
I got there Tuesday afternoon, and after playing "Around and around we go", G. finally managed to find where I was at the airport and get me to the hotel. 

I would point out, in my own defense, that the sign telling you which way the arrival terminal and the departure terminal are was sufficiently small that they could have used it for the fine print on a mortgage agreement, by the time I realized I was headed to the departure terminal, it was too late. 

I finally got to ride in The Beast after hearing about it for so long.  It lives up to its name, that's for sure.   He drives fast, which made my mom a little nervous, and she told me to call her when he got me to the hotel in one piece. LOL 

While I do drive quickly, I am also very good at not hitting stuff, so her mother need not have worried.  But I do love the chance to show off the full throttle acceleration of the Beast (which is what caused me to give it that nickname) which is a challenge because it revs so quickly that the if you are not quick on the shifts, it will bounce off the 8,000 rpm rev limiter.

He brought his laptop, so we hung out there for most of the day.  I wanted to show him the Liquid Cane, so it wasn't too long before I pulled it out of the suitcase, along with the Loopy.  Down went my pants, and I got on the bed.  He used the Liquid Cane much more than the couple of strokes I'd received at the party a couple months ago, which made it much more intense.  The Loopy is also much more intense when it's not me using it on myself!  It didn't last all that long, but it was nice to be able to ease into things after three years and not feel like we had to go all out from the first spanking. 

The liquid Cane works quite well but there is an Achilles heel, rebound.  I'm looking to spank someone else's ass, not my own hand.  A leather glove can be used as armor, by way of a work around.

After checking out our usual online stuff, we went to dinner and then we went to see Moneyball.  By the time the movie let out it was after midnight, and G. went home because we were both tired.
The next day it rained ALL day.  We went shopping, because SOMEBODY had to get new phones so that they wouldn't have to keep changing phones every hour and a half while we're on the phone twice a week, and it wasn't me.  

Though it was amusing to hear the exasperated "Batteries" every time I switched handsets.

I needed a travel charger for my phone because somehow I had forgotten my normal charger, even though I'd brought every other charger I owned. LOL  We also needed ammo and hearing protection for when we would be going to the shooting range later in the week.  The ammo part took some doing, because one of his guns requires obscure ammo.

.303 British, it isn't a popular sport round but used to be plentiful in military surplus, but NATO standardized on the 7.62 round (which is very similar but not interchangeable) in decades ago and it has become tougher to find since.

Took three stores to get them, and that didn't count the ones that don't even exist anymore.  I got to see a decent amount of Long Island at least!  Finally, ammo obtained, we got back to the hotel.  
We weren't going to dinner until late, so we did online things again.  This was also the night he decided he was going to teach me about patience, with many implements.  He used the Lexan, the wooden paddle, the rubber ruler and the Loopy.  I also noticed him doing something with his computer, which distracted me for a minute at first, but he was rather insistent with the spanking and the lecturing, so my focus was back pretty fast. LOL  I started crying pretty fast, what with him going at it really hard with the paddle.  I don't need to go from memory about this spanking.  Remember when I said he was doing something with his computer?  Well, we had been talking about doing more audio clips, so Mr. Sneaky RECORDED the spanking on his Garage Band program!!  I do have it on my iTunes and my iPod now, and damn is that paddle LOUD. 

Couple of things here.  First off, doing the lecture thing, monologue style to garage band when I am not actually in a session doesn't feel natural.  Its not as bad a photography (see below), but it usually requires multiple takes to get something minimally acceptable.  Thing number 2 is that when we are on the phone and I am drumming on my thigh or stomach, fidget that I am, just the sound of the impact makes a noticeable impression, so it figures that an actual paddling that she *remembers* happening to her will work even better.

After the spanking he went back to the computer, and that's when I realized what he had done.  He emailed it to me right then, so when I got back home a few days later, it was waiting for me.  Late that night we went to a diner he goes to every Wednesday.  Now I know why he only eats once a day.  I couldn't eat like that more than once a day either!

When you have as much trouble stopping eating as I do, it is not a good idea to start doing so very often.

The next day was NYC day.  We didn't go until the afternoon, so we couldn't do a whole lot.  We went on the train and ended up in Penn Station.  I was taking pictures already.  I got some decent ones right outside Penn Station, including one that G. doesn't even know I got, which I will tell him about if he asks.   To tell the truth, I didn't even know I'd managed to get it until I got home and uploaded it from the card onto my computer, so I wasn't being sneaky about it or anything.  You really do need to be slightly sneaky to get pictures of G., because when he knows you're taking pictures of him, he tends to freeze up, and then it doesn't look like him. 

Well, there goes my budding career as a male model. 

(I laughed LOUD when I read this line, because it was written so deadpan. LOL) 

It's actually the best picture I've ever taken of him. :)  From Penn Station we went to the Intrepid museum, and he took me on a guided tour of the whole thing, which I have on video.  Even with all that walking I was still okay.  From there we went to the Empire State Building, but when we got there he said there was something he wanted to do first, so we started walking.  He left me where I was and went looking for the direction we needed to go, which he found pretty fast, and came back to get me.  We started walking, and I had no idea where we were going.  He said he thought we were in the Garment District, which I'd heard about it.  I could tell it was a much older section of the city.  Still I had no idea where he was taking me.  Then I saw a small sign that said kinematics.  I couldn't believe it!  A friend had told me that it was the one place I had to make sure I went to in the city, and by the time I got to New York I totally forgot about it, and I had never mentioned it to G., so I was floored.  It was such a great surprise! 

A while ago I was working in the city and every once in a while, I would walk back to the train instead of using the subway or taking a taxi and on one such walk I discovered Kinematics.  There was no way that I was going to show someone like Jen the City for the first time and not have that on the itinerary.

I don't live in a big city, so I'd never seen so many spanking DVDs in one place in my life. LOL  I didn't get any though, because I couldn't decide on any.  We went downstairs where the toys were, and that's when the deciding began.  We looked at everything, and then we decided on a riding crop.  We haven't had one of those in years.  Of course then I had to carry it around the rest of the time we were in the city, so luckily they wrapped it up really well so that nobody would know what it was, because it had to stick out of my purse, as big as THAT is!  We went back to the Empire State Building, which completely destroyed both of us as far as the amount of standing (G.'s problem), and walking and stairs (my problem).  I did get video from the observation deck, so that was really cool, but wow, was it windy up there!  We bailed after a little bit.  Between the crowd, the amount of walking we'd done, and a sudden huge gust of wind, we decided we'd seen enough!  Then we couldn't find a cab to get us back to Penn Station, so we ended up settling on a pedi-cab.  I didn't care at that point, I just needed to sit down before I fell down. LOL 

You forgot the part about how, on the way back, our train had a medical emergency on it and we ended up sitting for something like an hour.  I have called the LIRR the "worlds largest toy train set" on many occasions and this just provides more evidence. 

I knew ahead of time that this was going to be our late night, because we wouldn't be going to dinner until late, and we'd be staying there really late. G. has a unique schedule on certain nights!  So when we got back to my hotel room, G. used the riding crop on me, really hard I might add (But what's new about that? I'm not sure he has another setting, luckily ).  As with a lot of implements, because of how hard he goes at it, we end up needing to repair a lot of them, and the riding crop is no different. 

Damn flimsy toys!

That's why I have a Bionic Loopy, because after G. broke it on me in Denver, I had to rebuild it and accidentally used thin co-ax instead of plain rubber.  Then he took a nap, and I got to use his laptop.  It was one of the few times I was able to check Twitter the whole time I was there.  He woke up about a half an hour or so later, and then we went to dinner.  He meets up with friends on Thursday nights, and I got to meet them.  We got into a big conversation about Detroit and just how bad things are, and these days I'm able to hold my own in conversations like that.  G. remembers the old days at Worldcon where I would just sit by and listen because I wasn't up to the challenge.  Later in the night, one of his friends said that I should move there and they'd come and get me, so I think they liked me. : )  By the time we left it was REALLY late, after 4, so he dropped me off at the hotel and went home to sleep.      

That is actually par for the course for me, BTW, night owl that I am.

Friday was a day of firsts.  It was the day I would get to see the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.  Back in '02 when we went to California for Worldcon, I got to see the Pacific, and it was the first time I'd seen ANY ocean.  G. hadn't realized what a big deal it was until we got there and I actually saw it.  So he knew I wanted to be able to see the other ocean, but this time I didn't wade into it.  There's a difference between seeing the Pacific Ocean at the beginning of September, and see the Atlantic Ocean in mid October!  It was also the day I was going to meet his mother finally.  We had talked on the phone a bunch of times, and had even written letters back and forth for a while, but we'd never met face to face before.  G. was down in the basement getting his rifles so that we could go to the shooting range.  That left me and his mom alone to talk for a few minutes.  I think it went well!  I knew we'd get along, because it wasn't like we'd never talked before.  I had been nervous before I went there, realizing I'd be meeting her though, because I know there's a difference between talking to somebody on the phone and seeing somebody  face to face for the first time.  Even if they've seen a picture of you, pictures can't     give the whole story, and I wondered if she would react to me differently.  I didn't have to worry about it though, so I relaxed right away.  So G. and I went to look for the shooting range he used to go to, but he hadn't been there in so long that it didn't exist anymore.  Back to his house, he went downstairs to check for another place online, and I stayed upstairs with his mom.  More time to talk!  Annoyingly not enough time to really find out anything good though. ; )  Finally he found a place and we were off.  It was my second time shooting, but I'd never shot with his rifles before.  One of them was easy, but the bolt action one (I can't remember the name of that one),

SMLE for Short, Magazine fed, Lee-Enfield, the Tommies instantly, I imagine, nicknamed it "Smelly".  That was the one that took the .303 

was a total bitch to control!  It kicks like a mule!  I only shot that one once, it was too hard to handle.

I wanted to show her the difference between a full battle rifle cartridge and the significantly less powerful assault rifle cartridge, in this case 7.62X39.  Driving home the point that assault rifle rounds are *less* devastating than their predecessor battle rifle counterparts.

I did pretty good with the other one though.  I still have the targets to prove it!   

Ready for any zombie apocalypse, she is.

Then we went to meet up with other friends of his for dinner.  I already know these friends because they go to Worldcons too.  We tried to guess how late they'd be, because his friend has a different concept of time.  G. was right on his guess. LOL  His one friend is an early adopter of technology and always has gadgets, and he has an iPad, which he let me play with.  Have I mentioned I suck at Angry Birds?  I couldn't get out of the level I tried.  We stayed there for four hours talking and playing with the iPad.  I was even able to check in for my flight the next day AND pay the baggage fees right there.  I totally need an iPad.  

Apple stuff tends to be like that, just try it out and you want one.

When we got back to the hotel, G. asked if there was an implement we hadn't used that I wanted to play with since it was my last night there.  Of course I said the belt.  So he spanked me with the belt.  It didn't last as long as I would've liked, but I was just happy to have it used on me at all after three years!  His shoulder couldn't handle too much that night, because when he had shot with his bolt action rifle earlier in the day, he had gone through ten shots, and it kicked him in the shoulder hard enough for him to have a decent bruise.

Hard kicking round + brass butt plate + thin tee shirt = sore shoulder 

I had some decent belt marks though, which is what counts.   Sitting that whole week had been tricky, and that just added to it, which I had missed so much and loved feeling again after so long.  He didn't stay after that, because he was going to have to get up early (there's normal people early and then there's G. early.  G. early is noon LOL). 
When he dropped me off at the airport the next day, I got my traditional hug, which was nice.  Even just being friends, what we do together as far as spanking is concerned is more emotionally intimate than I ever was with my husband when we were married.  After twelve years we're close, even if it's in a nontraditional way.  It was a nice way to end a very nice week.  I got very spanked after having waited patiently for three years, which made me very happy.  If things work out right, we might even be able to see each other before next Worldcon.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that one, because it would mean him coming here.  And not mentioning to my mom that we'd be going to the target range again.  She still doesn't know that we went in October!  She HATES guns, so it just easier not to tell her.  She knows about the other stuff, but she feigns ignorance.  That's easier for HER. LOL 

Glad the trip was a success, -G

As requested, here's the first poem

The First Stirrings

So young,
You have no idea
how the world works,
Yet you know that
this thing makes you feel
something strange,
It makes you tingle inside,
Gives you a small rush
that you don't understand,
But you know you like it.
You also know you can't tell,
Because then they'd know
and they would tell you it was wrong,
Though you know deep down it isn't,
So you keep it inside,
Your dark secret,
That makes you tingle inside
and gives you that wonderful rush
just to think about it.

While we wait for G. to add his comments......

The NY post is written, and I sent it to G. a couple days ago, so I'm waiting for him to send it back with his comments included.  Until then, I came up with an idea today.  I've been knee-deep in nonkink book writing for over a month now, but I think it's sparked my creativity again.  That's good, because I'd spent so much time not being able to write a damn thing that I'll take too many ideas over none.  I was sitting at work listening to a podcast on my iPod, and they were talking about writing, and it got me thinking.  I rarely write poetry anymore, but occasionally something hits me enough to make me need to write.  I've also never written a whole book of themed poetry.  I do have ones I could take out of the rest and MAKE a themed book, but what I'm thinking is a kink related poetry book, that talks about the journey from the earliest thoughts about what we do, to being involved in playing and all the feelings that go along with the different relationships we have while doing it.  I've never written something intentionally like that.  My poetry is normally born of strong emotion at the moment.  I think a book about my life would be boring, but to put it into poetry form would bring the emotions to the surface and show the journey from earliest spanko thoughts through to the liberation that comes with age and experience.  I would probably have to go the self publishing route, or the Amazon Print on Demand way, because I doubt I could get a publisher to go for it.  Hell, I don't even know if anybody would even want to read it!  I wrote the potential first poem this afternoon, and I'm fairly sure I have enough years of experience in all this to really show the journey.  Any thoughts?  Any interest?  I'm still going to do it, but I am wondering if anybody would want to bother reading it.     

What I hope happens when I see G. next month

I've been thinking about what I want when it comes to playing when I get to New York to see G.  It's been three years since we've seen each other, so there's so much we'll probably want to do but won't get to.  I know he'll want to punish me.  It's not that I've been misbehaving, but he'll want to set the tone and assert his authority again.  I want that too.  I hope it happens before we do the fun kind of playing.  I want to feel his power again.  It's this amazing force, and I haven't seen it in so long.  I miss it.  I want to slam up again it, to know that it's there no matter what.  I want him to spank me until I cry, to release all the stress that's built up since the last time I saw him, partly because it's been so long since he's spanked me. I want to feel relaxed and that everything's right in the universe again.

At some point I want a nice long caning, with the heavy cane.  I want to fly, knowing that he's watching out for me so that I can.  I trust him to know when I've had enough if I've blissed out (G.'s term for subspace!) so far that I can't know for myself.  He's good at that, and I feel safe so that I can let go and fly.  It's an amazing feeling, to let him take me where I want and need to go.

I'd love to play a scene, though we've never really done it before.  There are situations we can use from my past that make for good role playing, because in my late teens school and I weren't best friends.  I wasn't terrible at it, but there were bouts of skipping that I could be punished for, in a teacher/student format or a Daddy/daughter type scene.  Either way would work for me.  I'll have to see what G. wants to do as far as that goes, but we've talked about me being punished for that, so it's just a matter of figuring out which direction to take it. 

G. hasn't used the Liquid Cane yet (formerly the Evil Whippy Thing), and since I know that it's on my level, I really want to see what he can do with it.  His arm never wears out, so I'm hoping for great things!  I know he wants to try it out, especially after all those times that I told him that he might get to use it sparingly.  He'll want to make sure that I know that he'll use what he wants, when he wants, as often as he wants.  Which is only right.  He's in charge, and when it comes to when and how I get spanked, he makes the decisions.  I love that.   

Internet Anonymity for People like Us

Yesterday on the radio, the show I listen to did a story about this: Gawker.  The hosts were all for it, saying that anonymity on the internet is bad, because it allows people to say things they wouldn't say out in public.  They said that people should have to get some kind of license to go online to post to blogs and message boards, using their real names, so that you'd know exactly who said what.  All I could think was that it would shut down whole sections of the internet.  Spanking on tv has become slightly more mainstream, but so much of society still thinks that what we do is worse than being gay, and we know how they feel about THAT.  We go on Twitter and we write our blogs anonymously, for our own protection for the most part.  Some of us have careers or spouses or friends and relatives who can't find out about what we're into, because it would cause serious problems.  We HAVE to have anonymity online so that we can interact with other people like us.  We can't go back to the old days when we had almost no connection to other people who did what we did, putting pricey ads in the backs of free newspapers to find somebody to spank or be spanked by.  There was a scene back then, but not like it is now, where we can talk to so many people all over the world who think the way we do, and want the same things.  Losing that would be devastating for all of us.  I'm out to some friends, but I keep my Twitter and Facebook personas totally separate for a reason.  There are relatives and work friends on Facebook who I don't want finding out about this, because I've had some bad experiences with people finding out in the past.  One of my uncles is born again, and his only thought filter is his religion.  I doubt he'd take the news well if he found out.  I don't feel like being ostracized by half the people I know and/or love.  Also, G. isn't out at ALL, and if what I do online got out, it would be very easy for his friends to figure out the connection.  I would never do that to him, so I would have to stop posting.     

What they said bothered me so much that later in the day I emailed one of the hosts, whom I have emailed before about trivial things, so I had his email address already.  I told him about those of us who require anonymity to do what we do online.  I haven't had an answer yet, and I may not, but at least I let him know the part of the concept that he obviously hadn't thought about at all.  I'll post if I get an answer.  
 

New York, Here I Come!

Finally got to talk to G. about my plan last night.  I had a backup plan in case going there didn't work for him, meaning I would pay his way here.  I've done it before, so there's precedent.  When I asked him last night though, he said, If you want to come out this way, I'm fine with it.  If we were a couple that would be an odd way to put it, but we're not, we're friends with the spanking relationship added in.  The fact that he didn't even hesitate meant a lot.  There was no discussing it, "well, if you were to come here, then....".  It was just outright and made me very hyper!  I'll get a hotel room, because with his living arrangements, it's the only way we'll get a chance to play.  The hotel I found is less than two miles from where he lives, so it'll be very easy for him.  I just like the fact that we're finally going to be able to reconnect.  As much as I love going to Worldcon, we haven't seen each other in three years, and we need some time just to get back into the swing of things.  With everything there is to do at Worldcon, we don't have much time to just BE, and playing gets relegated to 3 in the morning most of the time.  If it's just the two of us, we can just hang around doing what we want, and playing happens when we want it to.  Most of the time that isn't until late on the first day, after we've had time to adjust to being in the same place again after so long.  We've been friends for twelve years, and we're comfortable with each other to the point of acting like an old married couple, but that first day needs to be relaxed into.  I get so hyped before I see him that I would bounce off the walls otherwise.   

I'm going to get SO spanked when I'm there.   I will take videos and pics, and I will show off any marks I manage to get.  I will convince him to use the heavy cane so that I will have wonderful cane marks, but not sure about bruises.  I don't seem to bruise all that much anymore.  So annoying.  I love bruises and marks.  We'll probably play hard enough that he'll manage to bruise me some though.  He knows how hard I like it.  I told him we'll have to experiment with The Evil Whippy Thing, because even with ME using it, it's a bitch.  With him, I don't know how bad it will be.  He'll have to hold back some at first, so we can gauge the results.  I wonder if he CAN hold back.  It's not something he does most of the time!

By the time I leave, sometime in the middle of October, I'm going to be bouncing off the walls.  Can't wait!

My two cents about Twitter

Since I was part of Abel's conversation about Twitter, I figured I might as well continue it, along with everybody else. 

Twitter is my connection to my spanking friends.  I can't do that on Facebook, because of relatives and work friends.  I'm pretty much out about what I do, except for those people.  My work wouldn't be affected, but I don't know what their reaction would be, so I leave that part of my life private.  I could never tell the relatives on Facebook about my kink, though some of them are very open about things.  I just can't see myself talking to them about it.  The newsgroup has faltered from what it once was, and all the people I knew there are now on Twitter, so I can connect with them on a more immediate basis there.  I NEED Twitter for that.  To be who I really am, to not have to think about what I say, to not have to hide anything.  To be as free as I want with the kink, and to be able to revel in the wonderfully kinky conversations I have on there.  I don't JUST talk about spanking, but it's the one place I CAN talk about it.  I've gained friends on there beyond the ones I knew from the newsgroup, so my horizons have broadened that way.  I don't tweet from a phone, because I refuse to pay that kind of money for a data plan, but when I get home I go through my timeline and catch up with everything people have been doing during the day.  Not everybody I follow is into spanking, but pretty much everybody who follows me is.  Until the past few months I didn't post much.  In April, after a whole year on Twitter, I only had 1,800 tweets.  I've become so much more involved that I have 4,614 tweets as of right now.  I tweet every day now, sometimes a lot during a day, especially later in the day when everybody's home.  I talk to people in different countries, all over the world, which for somebody who didn't get online until they were 34 is still sort of amazing sometimes.  It's difficult to remember what it was like pre-internet, when I didn't know that there were all these other people who have the same inclinations I do when it comes to spanking, and when I wasn't connected to so many great people.  I could never go back to being disconnected from the world, and Twitter is one of the things I'd miss now.